8001

By KaiLan
It’s really a heavy blow for me.
It’s really a tough decision to be made.
It’s really a painful comprehension.
Last few days, unintentionally, I heard from my colleague (who has got married) saying tat, her ex condemned her b4 tat she’s not qualified for happiness due to what she has done to him.
Well, she let go of him.
I was wondering, did he need to say this and act till so cruelly?
No, I won’t and I can’t do this.
Though it’s really painful for me to let go, I admit this.
And I also admit that I feel so so much unwilling.
I’m also immature to think that, is he doing fair to me?
It’s hard for me to accept when there’s no external force contributing to this, no 3rd party.
After much struggling, slowly, I understand that no matter wat, I really need to accept this ruthless reality.
When our ‘jodoh’ has come to the end, we’ve to accept this.
I’m hardhearted to hate and to blame in this case.
No point…
I’ve chosen to forgive and to let him undergo the life that he likes.
Some people said I’m brave and tough to go through all these by myself.
I replied “Do I have the choice?”
Obviously, I don’t.
But who knows I’ve cried for uncounted times and hold back the tears when I need to act strong??
I told myself, no point holding on, it’s meaningless to hold on with someone, w/o his heart heading towards me.
What for? We both will be struggling and suffering right…
I choose to give in, not because I’m great enough, but because I don’t want him to feel disgusted towards me nor towards this relationship.
I choose to retain the happy memory in this 7-year relationship.
I choose to retain the self-esteem for myself.
 

5 comments so far.

  1. Unknown August 4, 2008 at 12:59 PM
    Excuzzzzzzee me.... The title 8001??... trying to relate lar... sorry, bit slow on this...
  2. KaiLan August 4, 2008 at 10:03 PM
    Hahaa...8001, it means 1st Aug..it's the day tat i FINALLY let go everything, a day to start a new life, a new me! & ...ermm...it's my car plate =)
  3. Unknown August 6, 2008 at 6:01 PM
    Wellllll then.... it's not really a let go.... some things, we can just forgive but not forget...
  4. Kelvin Hew August 8, 2008 at 1:20 AM
    Hei hei~~

    Wanna tell u that,
    the world is not doom yet,
    I know how hurt u feel,
    but please dun forget there is a thing called "FRIEND".

    We will be there when you need us.
    Best wishes and take care.
    ^.^


    -keLVin-
  5. KaiLan August 8, 2008 at 2:59 PM
    Tks to my dear frens, you all are js too nice~~ =)

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